Gavv's Did You Know?

California based producer Stu Shapiro, back in late eighties had bought all the rights to Bubblegum Crisis to hack up the footage into music videos. All he had to do was to send the check for the advance to Gaga Communications, the licensing company. Problem is, he kept forgetting to do it. By the time he got around to sending a check, Gaga had gone out of business, and the deal was off. The amount on the check that would have given him all video, broadcast, and licensing rights to all of Bubblegum Crisis?...$5,000

Gavv's Rememberances

Oh for the days when US anime distributors were able to license and put out product at a (relatively) lightning pace. Take for example this month's general topic, Bubblegum Crisis. The contract was signed and the license announced June 4, 1991. The first tape was available for sale August 30, 1991, a mere 88 days later.

This And All Future Tokyos

Ahh, Tokyo. The amazing megalopolis of uncounted millions, portrayed in any number of different ways in the many worlds of anime. There's the I-wanna-make-it-back-to-Tokyo Tokyo (Rayearth, Fushigi Yuugi, Those Who Hunt Elves, Area 88, etc); the 200-feet-below-water-after-the-polar-ice-melts Tokyo (Aika, Otaku no Video, etc); and the inhabited-with-a-bunch-of-horny-demons Tokyo (Wicked City, Demon City, videos that end in 'oji'). All sorts of settings and realities and timelines, but where you can still see big ol' Tokyo Tower in the distance at some point.

Thinking about all of this, and of the fact that people (let alone fans) feel the inherent itch to rationalize, compare, contrast, and analyze just about everything under the sun. I decided to turn off my cynicism chip and doff the prognosticator cap. (That's dumb myself down and make shit up to you Ranma fans). I have decided to go through some of my memories and come up with my competition for (drumroll please, Anton)....The Coolest Future Tokyo in Anime...

I have narrowed down the competition to two in the Battle of the Coolest Future Tokyo in Anime: Mega-Tokyo 2032 and Tokyo-3. There was a larger field of which I took countless upon countless hours of consideration upon. Tokyo in Patlabor is pretty cool, contemporary, has one hell of a noodle shop, but the fact that it begins existence in 1999 makes it no longer a Tokyo of the future, so it's gone. Neo-Tokyo has lots of cool neon signs, but it gets totally destroyed twice in 124 minutes, destroying most all things cool that lie within.

Crystal Tokyo (Sailor Moon) is a nice, serene look at a peaceful future, but that whole crystal 'thing' died in the 70s, too retro hippie to qualify as a cool Tokyo of the future. (These are my rules, I make 'em up :). The Tokyo from Wicked City looks like a nice choice. It has some nice soap-lands, really big guns, and seems to be shot in blue a lot. But it has that scene with the black widow woman that no guy can watch without instinctively groaning and covering himself. 15 yards for unsportsman-like conduct and a disqualification. Silent Mobius Tokyo loses on account of bad grammatical errors, and Cinderella entry the Tokyo from Roujin Z loses out because of a technicality, that Carl Macek actually worked on the japanese version. Tough call, but them's the rules.

So now, with a tip of the cap to comedian Nick Bakay on ESPN, Gavv analyzes this epic match-up of Mega-Tokyo 2032 vs. Tokyo-3 with the Tale of the Tape:

Audio Accessories

Mega-Tokyo: retro/1950s style microphones Tokyo 3: Those head thingees Advantage: Mega-Tokyo

Construction Work

Mega-Tokyo: Lots of tall buildings which look like the Luxor hotel after an all-night VFW beer-hall bash Tokyo-3: Lots of tall buildings which look exactly the same upside down as right-side up Advantage: Tokyo-3

Multiciplicity Factor

Mega-Tokyo: Quincy clones Tokyo-3: Rei Clones Reis may be cute and all that, but Quincy(s) get the big guy what he wants. Advantage: Push

Shakedowns

Mega-Tokyo: Second Great Kanto earthquake Tokyo-3: Second Impact Advantage: Tokyo-3

Move Over Kahn

Mega-Tokyo: wrath of car freak wronged by biker dudes Tokyo-3: wrath of God Advantage: Tokyo-3 -- When it comes to angst-inducing doom & gloom, o/~ Nobody does it better... o/~

Male Companions

Mega-Tokyo: Daley Wong Tokyo-3: Fyuutsuke Advantage: Tokyo-3

Extras Curricular Activities

Tokyo-3: guy penguin that likes hot springs Mega-Tokyo: guy cop that likes Hot Legs Advantage: Mega-Tokyo -- Both end up to be pretty fruitless activities

Attention Getters

Mega-Tokyo: Sexaroids Tokyo-3: Rei Advantage: Mega-Tokyo -- Rei may be accommodating, but that lesbianistic vampirism wins Mega-Tokyo some bonus points.

Number of Spin-offs or Sequels?

Mega-Tokyo: 4 Tokyo-3: 0 Advantage: Mega-Tokyo -- Some cool (A.D. Police OAV), some mediocre (Bubble Gum Crash), but the city always looks cool.

Times Two

Great Second in Mega-Tokyo History: Kanto Earthquake Great Second in Tokyo-3 History: Impact Advantage: Tokyo-3

Of Boys and Men

Tokyo-3: Whiny kid boy, afraid to touch women Mega-Tokyo: Horny kid boy, likes to peek at naked sister. Advantage: Mega-Tokyo -- Testosterone trumps tears every time.

The result..... A Tie! We go into overtime!!! The single category chosen to break the tie...

Sheer Numbers

Tokyo-3: Two cute girls in skintight suits inside fighting mecha machines Mega-Tokyo: Four cute girls in skintight suits inside fighting mecha machines Advantage: Mega-Tokyo -- When all else fails, the more, the merrier.

And as you can see, the winner is Mega-Tokyo, for the tale of the tape never lies. At least not to me and my invisible friend Bernardo that lives in my head and battles the Jets incessantly in battle after battle of highly choreographed rumbles.

And now back to the regularly scheduled program.

Still nobody reasonably close to guessing the origin of 'The Hypnotic Eye'. A random anime soundtrack CD from my collection is the prize for the person making the best guess or the funniest guess! Get those entries in, as well as your Hard Core Otaku stories, to gavv@atanime.com. I'll announce winners in the next issue of @anime!.

Many kind departing words, and I will be seeing you next issue.

Gavv